Musings of a Fat Comedian

tears

Fri, 17 May 2013 08:01:53 -0600

*tears*

Goodbye, Dunder Mifflin

Thu, 16 May 2013 08:08:33 -0600

I can still remember it.

It was March of 2005. My then girlfriend-now wife, little sister, and I took a trip to South Dakota to visit my Grandparents. I guess visiting the small town of Winner, South Dakota was our idea of Spring Break. We were eating lunch and I saw a commercial on tv saying the series premiere of a show called ‘The Office’ was on that night. “That’s the show with Steve Carrell from Anchorman. I’ll watch that,” I thought. I remember they showed the first two episodes, but my favorite of the two was Diversity Day. It was a great episode, and remains to be even today. There’s two scenes that stand out from that episode, one that is still one of my favorites.

Dwight: Give me an easy clue so I can guess it.
Pam: Okay. I’m not trying to be racist, but you’re not a very good driver.
Dwight: Oh man, am I a woman?!

The other scene is Michael using the stereotypical eastern Indian voice and asking Kelly if she would like to try his “gookie-gookie”, and she slaps him.

I tried to watch the show as much as I could. Eventually though, I started working a full time job and moved out of my parents’ house. Not being able to afford cable, I stopped watching the show. Things changed about three years ago. I had lost my job, and my wife, kids, and I were having to move out of where we lived. It was a low time for me. I remember sitting up one night alone and rediscovering ‘The Office’. I remember spending my days watching episode after episode. The laughter it brought helped me get through a tough time. Once the new season started, I watched the show religiously. I was glued to my television every Thursday night.

We’ve now come to a time I honestly never thought about. We as a people start to get comfortable and depend on things. We don’t like change, and when it happens, we regret taking advantage of the situation. I feel like I took advantage of ‘The Office’, and I regret that. I’ve depended on the show to keep me sane every Thursday night, new episode or repeat. I’m sad to see the show go. I’ll miss these characters and their stories on a weekly basis. This show has made me emotional before (Jim and Pam’s wedding, Michael proposing the Holly, Michael leaving Dunder Mifflin), but these past few weeks have really gotten to me.

Michael. Dwight. Jim. Pam. Andy. Darryl. Stanley. Phyllis. Kevin. Oscar. Angela. Toby (I hate you.). Kelly. Ryan. Jan. Roy. Holly. Gabe. Jo. Robert California. David Wallace.

Thank you to all of these characters for all their stories. If these people only knew the things they helped me through.

I hope my wife bought me some tissues.

-Andrew

Using a Cinderella cup LIKE A BOSS!

Sat, 11 May 2013 15:11:29 -0600

Using a Cinderella cup LIKE A BOSS!

Gotta renew my license this year. This picture seems perfect!

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 21:47:14 -0600

Gotta renew my license this year. This picture seems perfect!

harmonizing: In my thoughts and prayers. Sending my love your...

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 20:53:02 -0600

harmonizing:

In my thoughts and prayers. Sending my love your way, Boston!

Love and prayers to Boston.

Wife made me go shopping. Went to a place called Love Culture....

Sat, 13 Apr 2013 00:31:12 -0600

Wife made me go shopping. Went to a place called Love Culture. It was like a heroine addict’s nightmare. Here’s a wolf dress.
#wtf

Please Help Us Place The Office Thank You AD!

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 15:46:19 -0600

Please Help Us Place The Office Thank You AD!:

theofficethankyouproject:

Remember The Group Thank You? Here’s a reminder:

In May 2013, during the week of The Office series finale, we will be publishing an advertisement in The Hollywood Reporter to thank cast and crew of NBC’s The Office for their nine years of dedication to this phenomenal television series.

The “Thank You” will be on behalf of The Office fans from around the world.

The cost of this ad is $4590. We have been collecting funds since September, and our current total is $659.52. The deadline is April 30th. That’s just a few weeks away and we have nearly $4000 to go! Can we do it?

Anything you can donate will be greatly appreciated. For full details please click here.

Donate Now!

Thank you so much for your support!

If everyone could Reblog this, we would very much appreciate it.

Do this if you can!

“Lost” references in “This is 40” I love Lost.

Wed, 03 Apr 2013 22:43:14 -0600

“Lost” references in “This is 40”

I love Lost.

Umm… Shane? What’re you doing?

Wed, 03 Apr 2013 20:32:58 -0600

Umm… Shane? What’re you doing?

No More Excuses

Tue, 02 Apr 2013 19:54:16 -0600

A little over two years ago, I started on this journey of doing stand-up comedy. I’ve made friends, I’ve accomplished goals, and I’ve done things I never imagined possible.

I’ve also made some mistakes too. I quit. Twice. I’m not at all proud of that either. Sure, I can make excuses.
“A wife and two kids makes it hard.”
“My Grandfather passing away made it tough.”
“I work soooooo much.”
It’s all bullshit though. The problem has been ME. Sometimes, I go through these experiences of self doubt, and it’s a tough hole to dig myself out of. When you have a list of goals and things you want to accomplish, you can’t bullshit yourself.

I’m done bullshitting myself. Starting this weekend, I embark upon some new projects, and as far as I’m concerned, it’s full speed ahead.

-Andrew

xombiedirge: Captain America Covers by Gérald Parel / Tumblr I...

Mon, 01 Apr 2013 18:18:34 -0600

xombiedirge:

Captain America Covers by Gérald Parel / Tumblr

I love Cap. He’s my favorite superhero.

The Walking Dead: WTF Is Gonna Happen?

Sun, 31 Mar 2013 18:42:24 -0600

We’ve arrived.

We’ve gotten to that part of the year that I absolutely dread. No, it’s not the annual physical (the closer to 40 I get, the more my butthole tightens) or the mother-in-law’s birthday (“Oh… this is… uh… an interesting gift…). It’s the season finale of The Walking Dead.

I think you can guess from this blog that this is my favorite show. It’s THE BEST show on television (kinda not hard; television is filled with garbage). So naturally, when it’s not on, I fall into a deep depression. I have to start taking anti depressants and stool softeners (my business, not yours). I cut myself (jk; I write on my wrists with red markers; I’d never cut myself). Anyway, I’ll spend a lot of time speculating on season four. But for now, let’s focus on what’s left of season three.

The thing I love about this show is it continues to surprise me. I thought I had last weeks episode all figured out (see ‘My “Bold” Prediction). I was mostly wrong, except about Merle’s death. We didn’t even see hooker face Andrea. I was convinced Milton was gonna die too. But no. That entire episode was an unexpected surprise, leaving me to feel like there’s too much to jam into this last episode.

So what happens tonight? I’m still sticking with my death predictions of main characters: Andrea, Beth, Carol, Hershel, the baby, Milton. Maybe not all, but at least four die. The official Walking Dead Twitter tweeted out that 27 people die tonight. I’m guessing most of them are nameless Woodbury people. I’m gonna say that Allen guy dies as well. It’s gonna be a possible bloodbath, people. That’s a fact.

Prepare yourselves. The showdown begins in less than thirty minutes.

-Andrew

What’s rap?

Sun, 31 Mar 2013 09:59:56 -0600

What’s rap?

Scary sky behind me.

Fri, 29 Mar 2013 20:59:18 -0600

Scary sky behind me.

the-absolute-best-gifs: My lovely followers, please follow this...

Fri, 29 Mar 2013 14:30:27 -0600

the-absolute-best-gifs:

My lovely followers, please follow this blog immediately!

“If I had a gun with two bullets, and I was in a room with Hitler, bin Ladin, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.”
-Michael Scott

"Maron" Trailer | IFC

Fri, 29 Mar 2013 13:34:47 -0600

"Maron" Trailer | IFC:

Watch the trailer for the new IFC show ‘Maron’. It’s about Marc Maron, so… it should be good.

The Creepiest Easter Bunny Photos Ever Taken

Fri, 29 Mar 2013 13:16:19 -0600

The Creepiest Easter Bunny Photos Ever Taken:

Do you like your Easter bunny to look like it crawled from the bowels of hell to take photos with your kids? Then these are for you!

Parks and Recreation: Why NBC Needs To Pull Their Heads Out and Renew This Show

Fri, 29 Mar 2013 09:34:36 -0600

What the hell is going on over at NBC? I remember a time when the slogan for their Thursday night comedy block was “comedy night, done right”. At this point, however, I can’t help but think it’s all wrong.

Understand, I don’t care that they’re continuing to put terrible television shows on their network hoping they’ll succeed (Do No Harm? Go On? Whitney? Her last name has the word CUM in it!). I don’t care that they seem to flip flop the weekly schedule around to try to make these horrible shows work either. I care about one thing, and that’s giving respect to one of the best shows not only on their network, but on network television PERIOD, Parks and Recreation. Parks and Rec is one of the smartest and funniest television shows on the air. Hell, Parks and Rec is one of my all time favorite shows EVER! There is no reason that the show should not have been renewed for another season already. This should have been one of the VERY FIRST shows to be renewed. NBC doesn’t have a lot going for them. They’ve had a lot of failed shows JUST THIS SEASON. Parks and Rec is ready to go into their 6th season stronger than ever. How many shows does NBC have that have been on over 5 seasons right now?

“With 30 Rock and The Office done this year, Parks and Rec will be the highest rated comedy left on NBC.”
-IGN’s 2013 Endangered TV Series List

Besides news shows, NBC has no comedies that have been on for over 5 seasons (unless you’re an asshole and you like to laugh at the fat people on ‘The Biggest Loser’). Does Parks and Rec bring in huge ratings? No. It’s not ‘American Idol’. It’s not ‘America’s Got Talent’. It’s not a show that a mindless person can watch and go “I think them there people sing real good like”, and that needs to be accepted. Maybe it’s not the highest rated show on television, but the show has a lot of fans, and these fans are PASSIONATE. I’d love for NBC to look at JUST TUMBLR. Search ‘Parks and Recreation’ and see how many gifs, memes, pictures, quotes, and fan art pop up. Search on Google or Yahoo! and check out all the fan sites and blogs dedicated to the show you’ll find. Then show me how many things you’ll find for shows like Whitney or 1600 Penn (positive things, too).

Would you like to get into the talent this show has? Amy Poehler. AMY POEHLER! Amy Poehler on her own should be enough. Nick Offerman. Ron Fucking Swanson! You don’t cancel Ron Swanson. Aziz Ansari, stand-up comedy extrordinare. Rob Lowe, huge star and all around handsome man (I’m not gay). Retta, one of Time Magazine’s Top 140 Twitterers. Plus Chris Pratt, Aubrey Plaza, Rashida Jones, Jim O’Heir. This show has more talent than most networks (is that Hulk Hogan midget wrestling show still on?).

NBC, all that I ask is that you show some respect to the creators, the cast, the crew, and most importantly the fans, and renew Parks and Rec. It’s the best comedy you’re gonna have and a lot of people want it back. I don’t want to threaten you either, but…

If you don’t renew, Retta will probably start live tweeting the shit out of all the terrible shows you have, and you DO NOT want that.

-Andrew

New Blogs!

Thu, 28 Mar 2013 22:01:18 -0600

Hi-o!!!!!

So I’ll have two new blogs up in the next few days regarding two of my favorite shows:

Parks and Recreation: Why NBC Needs to Get Their Heads Outta…

The Walking Dead: WTF is Gonna Happen?!

Come back and check it!

-Andrew

brain-food: “It’s the Army of Darkness, Charlie...

Thu, 28 Mar 2013 20:38:56 -0600

brain-food:

“It’s the Army of Darkness, Charlie Brown”
by Justin Hillgrove